...IN WHICH AN OLD COLLEGE FLAME AND THE FAMILY DOG WEIGH IN WITH WHAT THEY THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW.
I was the first college boy to send Linda Peterson flowers. We had a date for a dorm party; they served velvet hammers (these were probably grape juice, vodka, and red wine); I didn't drink, but I did. Got drunk. Silly. She probably put me to bed. Hangover the next morning. Sent her flowers--roses, I think--as an apology. She's been putting the drunk and silly to bed ever since. And getting flowers. I should say, "Who would have known that she's grow up to be..." but I knew. I mean, Betty Crocker Homemaker of the Year, for gods sake. Your path is completely destined. She did get rid of that odd little sundress with stripes and buttons. That's good. She's quite classy now. But why SO determined to have a complete, matched set of oyster forks or whatever they are? Why?
— Steve Tollefson
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